moving to NY means saying a lot of goodbyes. the more i pack and plan, the less i'm sure i'm really mature enough to go so far away and be an adult, all by myself. lucky for me, life and my family have given me all the tools i need.
there are so many things i'm going to miss, though.
i'm going to miss spontaneous bike rides with my friends. i'm especially going to miss my beautiful bike that i bought all by myself. i'm going to miss my city, mostly just a thousand miles of suburb, but i still know my way around it better than any other place. i'm going to miss long hot miserable summer days and cold nights, complaining about it being too hot for winter clothes but wearing them anyway. i'm going to miss seeing at least someone i know every place i go to, because i'm a born and bred Mesa girl. i'm going to miss the overpass, the light rail, longboarding on Mill Ave., the forbidden gold course, Dana Park, Saguaro Lake and Beeline Highway, scarface mountain, Epic thrift store, and Taco Bell. i'm not going to miss feeling like i don't fit in, having nothing to do on the weekends, mormon drama, or sweating alllll the time. i won't miss that.
i'm going to miss crazy nights full of fireworks, car chases, hormones and good music with my friends. late-night frozen yogurt runs, chick flicks, pool hopping and making a ruckus. i'm going to miss movie premiers at Tempe Marketplace, four wheeling in mud and our slutever summer. i'm going to miss all the people that made high school fun. aren't they cute?
i won't miss feeling like a stupid teenager. i want to grow up.
i'm going to miss my little sister. i'm NOT going to miss fighting with my little sister. but i will miss her a lot, especially our late-night talks in the bathroom while we wash our faces and make plans to eat healthier (they don't happen). i'm going to miss the girl that's been right there with me through every divorce, move, fight, and heartbreak. the one that is completely opposite from me but still understands just how i feel. i'm going to miss taking silly pictures, harmonizing on our favorite songs, and getting outfit advice. i'm going to miss my sister.
i'm going to miss making art, with a camera, a paintbrush, a pen, a computer...i'm going to miss having so much free time to create. i'm going to miss those lazy school days when all i had to do was show up with my teeth brushed. i'm going to miss high school and everyone i met there, that i probably won't ever see again unless they come to visit.
i'm going to miss this girl. my Abby, my best friend and my opposite-twin. i'm going to always remember the best summer i ever had, the once-in-a-lifetime roadtrip, the boy drama and the long workouts, the spontaneous trips to Bowl of Heaven, our sushi dates, our long talks, our cries, and all our inside jokes that just aren't funny when she's not there to laugh at them.
i'm really going to miss her.
i'm REALLY going to miss my cousins, the best friends that will never leave. matt and spencer, the coolest guys i know that didn't mind teaching me how to longboard, even though i'm a pain. megan, gorgeous girl, my best confidante and advice-giver. maddie, who i'll always have sleepovers with no matter how old we get. and kaela, who always makes me laugh and was my utah penpal. i'm gonna miss family get-togethers and friend hangouts with these cousins all mixed in between.
i'm going to miss my kooky family. my silly, happy, loving little brothers. all my stepsiblings, with all their quirks, advice, opinions, and funny stories. you really never run out of love, because i love all 10 of my siblings, stepsiblings, and half-sibling equally and unconditionally. i will also miss all 4 of my parents, all 6 of my grandparents, and all my cousins and aunts and uncles. i will miss family parties...halloween, our thanksgiving feast, the family musicale, and christmas afternoon and Nana and Papa's. (i hope i can come visit at Easter. the egg hunt in the desert is my favorite.) i will miss my momma's food. i will miss chili at halloween, chocolate pie, homemade bread, and the best chocolate chip cookies in the world. i will miss my visits with dad, running errands with him and trying to teach him how to use the internet. i will miss his weird dancing, willingness to serve and how much i know he loves me. i will miss my grandparents, more like my second set of parents and some of the best people i have ever known. one of the few constants in my life.
i will especially miss my mom. her happy attitude, her pretty smile and her cute wardrobe. always having a stockpile of ice cream and goodies and sugary cereals. all her lists, idea binders and projects. how neat and tidy our home is without feeling unfriendly. how normal outings seem adventurous and special with her. how hard she tries to do what she knows is right. i want to be just like her when i grow up.
i won't miss having one car. i won't miss shuttling little siblings around, waiting for hours while parents talk to other parents, or being asked to go grocery shopping at the most inconvenient times. i won't miss going to bed late and waking up later. i won't miss feeling lethargic or unproductive. i won't miss doing the dishes for 8 people or going to a single's ward i don't enjoy. i wont miss sharing a room or never being able to find places for all my stuff. i won't miss my stuff in general.
but, i'm going to miss a lot of things.
